Funke Bucknor-Obruthe On Dealing With The Death Of A Loved One

Still reeling from the death of her colleague in the industry, Lawyer turned event planner and founder and CEO of Zapphaire Events Funke Bucknor-Obruthe took to her Instagram page to pen a guide on the stages of grief and coping with the loss of a loved one.

See below:

At some stage in our lives we will experience this or know someone who is . It could be losing a dear friend , a loved one or a family friend and colleague .

We will all feel a mix of emotions but you have to allow yourself feel all the emotions at different stages .

The first stage is the shock and disbelief, denying what has happened .

The second stage is the pain and guilt – after the shock wears off, the pain becomes excruciating. Please allow yourself to feel this pain , don’t numb. Also you will have guilty feelings over things you did or didn’t do with them .

The third stage is Anger/Negotiating – anger at God , people etc …. you can also find yourself bargaining with God on what you can give in exchange to bring them back .

The fourth stage is loneliness , reflection – You realise that you are truly lonely and realize the true magnitude of your loss . Here people usually get depressed , feel empty or are in a state of extreme despair .

The fifth stage is – A turn around
Here you start adjusting to life without your loved one , the fog starts getting lifted gradually.

The sixth stage – is you working through the situation and reconstructing your life
Here your mind becomes functional , reality sets in and you have to start having practical plans on how to move on.

The seventh stage is the Acceptance and Hope , here you learn to accept and deal with the reality of the situation .

You accepting it doesn’t mean instant joy or happiness oh . But you will find a way to push through the pain as the pain gradually becomes less wrenching and is replaced with a more numbing feeling .
You can think about them a bit more without so much sadness and you can even start experiencing joy in living again ……..

Some people experience all or some of this in a year some 20 years and others for a lifetime .
The reality is we must allow ourselves deal with it , feel it , and push through.

How you can help?

One just be there for your friend that is experiencing this at the moment .

Call , text , visit , hug , send flowers , buy them food , allow them cry , let them laugh ….. They already know God’s knows best so don’t emphasis that too much . Pray for them, not necessarily pray with them .

Don’t tell them to get over it . Let them deal with it how they know best.

Some it’s social media, some will want curl into a corner , some will want to eat and dance etc . Understand that they are all at different stages and it will take a while for them to be Normal again . The most important thing is to let them know you care and you will always be there when they need you ….

And for anyone that is hurting I pray that God comforts you as Only He can and that he hugs you tightly in His warm embrace ..

Funke who is no stranger to grief, lost her sister Tosyn Bucknor on Monday, November 19, 2018, at the age of 37, she died from complications from sickle cell and her death shook the entertainment/media industry.